Title:           Meelz's tumblr butthurt
Author:          littlegirlshow
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/GiwHnqun
First Edit:      Thursday 7th of June 2012 03:00:28 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Thursday 7th of June 2012 03:00:28 AM CDT

I know I said I was gonna leave the internet for a while and just outright shut up until I felt the time was right, but I kinda gotta let shit out, yknow? Im lonely. I feel fucking empty right now and this right here just feels like a cancer just stuck onto me, not fading with time, but growing slowly. I think its best I say things now before long.

Wanna know why I got into the fandom? Wanna know why I loved being a part of the muso community and boasting that I did music as part of a huge family? Notice the keyword: family. Quite honestly, I wouldve been content with just watching the show and carrying on with my normal life.

Ive generally been a loner for the longest time of my life. It was, to put it bluntly, boring. Depressing. I didnt necessarily have anyone to share anything with, achievements, jokes, nothing. What friends I made all would dissolve almost immediately as times changed, taste in games, movies and etc changed, and of course, people changed.

I never really had a stable set of friends that I could rely on. Even if there was anyone that stuck around, I always felt like a liability, and to this date, I still feel skeptical of people trying to convince me otherwise, as my music and my presence generally feels redundant in a community with much better people who do thinks way better than I have, but I digress.

I treated the Bronies of New South Wales as a family. I treated the muso community as a family. I trusted you all with my fucking life, and I legitimately felt bro vibes all around, all the time. From age-old friends like Koroshi-Ya to masterful musicians like Tombstone to that one prick that kept kicking everyone from the Skypes Interrobang Pie, I loved each and everyone of you. Why? We are part of something. Lets put the show aside, and forget what the fandom is about in the first place, rather, lets think about the very presence of the fandom and how we all get together.

To see what I saw on Ponibooru? I felt fucking betrayed, humiliated, the works. I cant even explain how I felt. The second I got word I was being taken the piss out of, I ragequit off to Maccas, followed by deactivating my Facebook account. I cant. I just cant deal with this.

Again, I was in the fandom this whole time because I felt included, which was a magical feel. I felt I was a part of something, and to be mocked and laughed at like that, at things I trusted you guys with? Were you laughing this entire time? Oh look at Meelz, he wants to join the ranks of a musician, hes part of a fandom for little ponies, HOW FUCKING CUTE. Nope, just the kid with ludicrous dreams and outlandish wishing for the impossible.

Ive always felt like a liability, and this clearly doesnt help matters. I just feel betrayed, and Im just sorry I was just the guy that tagged along who turned out to be baggage this entire time, so much so that youd wanna flush my reputation down the crapper like that.

What Im trying to say is, till further notice, Im done. I dont wanna have anything to do with ponies right now.
